How to Deeply Trust Yourself & Overcome That Nagging Self-Doubt
Whether you’re overanalysing every decision, struggling to set boundaries, or constantly seeking validation from others, it all comes back to a lack of trust in yourself. Each of these self-sabotage behaviours is rooted in that quiet, sometimes subtle, but persistent doubt that whispers, "What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? What will people think?"
Take the perfectionist, for example—perfectionism is really about fearing that what you create or do won’t be good enough, and so you endlessly tweak, adjust, or avoid finishing things altogether. It’s self-doubt in disguise.
Or the people-pleaser—you’re afraid that setting boundaries or saying no will make people reject you, so you overextend yourself. Again, it’s that deep-rooted self-doubt that keeps you from trusting that you are enough, just as you are.
The same goes for the overthinker, the overdoer, and even the inner critic—they all lead back to that lack of self-trust. This is why self-doubt is so important to address because, without that foundation of self-trust, these sabotaging behaviours keep showing up in different ways, blocking your progress and success.
Keep in mind that building self-trust is the antidote to all these self-sabotaging behaviours and therefore self doubt. It’s the key to breaking free from the patterns that keep you stuck and finally stepping into the version of you that takes action, embraces mistakes, and shows up confidently.
But let’s start with what self-doubt really means and is.
You know that feeling when you're about to take a big step forward, but suddenly, your brain starts flooding you with all these doubts? It says things like:
"Who am I to do this?"
"What if I'm actually bad at this?"
“I just got lucky.”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“Others are better or further ahead than me.”
Sound familiar? That’s self-doubt. That nagging voice that makes you question your abilities, your worth, and even your right to be pursuing the things you’re passionate about. It’s like this constant second-guessing of yourself, and it can feel sneaky—it can disguise itself as “being realistic” or “wanting to be cautious” or “thinking things through logically”—but what it’s really doing is holding you back through obscuring your perspective of yourself and your reality.
And that's the problem, as it leads to things like procrastination and indecision. You put off taking action because you’re afraid you’ll make the wrong choice. You start overthinking every little detail, or worse, you don’t take action at all. And here’s the kicker—when you’re constantly doubting yourself, you’re not showing up as your best, most confident self.
Imagine how this impacts your business, your relationships, your life. When you doubt yourself, it seeps into everything—whether it's launching that new product, sharing your story, or even just taking up space in a room. You might not realise it, but others can sense that lack of confidence too, and that can influence how they respond to you. It’s like a domino effect of doubt, and we don’t want that.
Now, let’s flip the script. The antidote we need to create here is self trust. Self-trust is that deep, inner belief that, no matter what happens, you’ve got your own back. It’s knowing that you can rely on yourself to make the right choices—even if those choices lead to mistakes.
And let me emphasise that: self-trust isn’t about making perfect decisions all the time. It’s about trusting that, even when things don’t go as planned, you’ll be able to handle it. It’s taking ownership of your actions without beating yourself up. Instead of criticising yourself when something doesn’t work out, you approach it with compassion and a mindset of growth.
It also feeds into resilience and well-being because when you trust yourself, the negative self-talk starts to quiet down. You’re kinder to yourself in moments of doubt, and you can navigate setbacks with more grace.
It’s like this—self-trust gives you the permission to take risks, knowing that no matter the outcome, you’ll be okay. And that’s powerful.
You might be thinking now, “Alright Josi, this all sounds great, but how do I actually release self-doubt and start building that foundation of self-trust?” We already explored very specific action steps that you can take for the different self-sabotage types. So if you know your main one, go back to the episode that touches on that topic for more specific strategies. But here are some general steps that can really help you shift from doubt to trust:
1. Self-Awareness
The first step is self-awareness. And I would die on that hill! You need to get really clear on who you are—your strengths, your values, your goals, and yes, even your weaknesses.
You can start with simple questions like:
What am I really good at?
What are the values I stand by?
What do I want to achieve in the next year?
But in general it already help to just be very curious about yourself and ask why you do what you do, or the way you do them or show up in different situations. If you would meet yourself again as a stranger what would you see?
Self-awareness really is key because it’s the foundation of trust. How can you trust yourself if you don’t know who you are or what you stand for? When you know your strengths, you lean into them more confidently. And when you know your weaknesses, you stop letting them hold you back and start working on them intentionally.
2. Next up, Keep Your Promises to Yourself
Next, build self-trust by keeping your promises. This is huge. Trust is built through consistency—just like you trust a friend who always shows up when they say they will, you have to show up for yourself.
Start small. Set tiny goals or commitments, and follow through. It might be something as simple as, “I’m going to spend 10 minutes each day working on my mindset,” or, “I’ll reach out to three potential clients this week.” When you start keeping these small promises, you build evidence that you can rely on yourself. And the more evidence you have, the easier it becomes to trust yourself with bigger goals.
3. Reframe and Release Doubt
Now, releasing self-doubt takes some mindset work. Whenever that little voice of doubt creeps in, I want you to pause and ask, Is this thought even true?
Most of the time, the stories we tell ourselves in moments of doubt are not based on facts—they’re based on fears. So, reframe those thoughts. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m not as good as others”, reframe it to: “I’m exactly where I need to be on my own journey”. Instead of, “What if I’m bad at this?” say, “What if I’m better than I think?”
The key here is to catch those negative thoughts in the moment and consciously choose a different perspective. This isn’t about ignoring reality—it’s about training your mind to support you instead of tear you down.
4. Practice Self-Trust in Small Ways
Trusting yourself is like a muscle—you have to practise. Start by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in small ways. Try something new. Do the thing that scares you. And when it goes well, acknowledge it. Even if it doesn’t go perfectly, celebrate the fact that you took action.
Another great way to practise is by honing the skills you’re already good at. When you get better at what you’re already good at, you start building more confidence. It’s this beautiful loop where action leads to more trust, which leads to more action.
5. Keep a List of Your Victories
Lastly, make it a habit to write down your wins as you keep on going. Count your promises that you kept as well or the lessons learned when something didn’t turn out as well as you hoped at first. It’s so easy to forget all the things you’ve accomplished when you’re caught up in day-to-day challenges. So, keep a journal, or a victory list, and add to it regularly.
This list will then become a reminder of all the times you trusted yourself and it worked out. And on those days when self-doubt starts creeping in, you can go back and read through it as proof that you are capable, you are resilient, and you’ve done this before.
So let’s get started with that practice right away: Make a commitment to yourself and keep it. For extra accountability, send me a message with what you want to do by when and I will be your accountability buddy. Ok? ok!
This can literally be as simple as committing to spend 5 minutes reflecting on your strengths, or maybe it's reaching out to someone about a project you’ve been hesitating on. Whatever it is, make that promise and follow through. Start building those small wins of trust, one step at a time.
So, there you have it—self-doubt is natural, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By building self-trust through practice, you open the door to more confidence, more resilience, and more aligned action!
If you want further accountability and support in building self-trust and confidence, then let’s team up. I’m here to support you every step of the way, whether there are ups or downs, we work through it together.
