How to navigate the triggers
Or rather those moments when you could just shout “F*CK YOU!” - like we’re talking getting ANGRY!
But first some more context ok? Ok!
So, I woke up from my lovely slumber at 5 AM, ready to hit the gym for an upper body session. I glance at my phone and see a message from a family member. My feeling was already bad before I read it, I just knew this couldn’t be good. I opened it, and found myself in a small shitstorm about not having done enough and that my birthday wishes were meaningless and I should’ve done more. Bear in mind, this family member has been cause of many limiting beliefs that I had adopted as my truth for a long time, like not feeling good enough, not worthy, and that whatever I do it will always be wrong or not what they want.
Which is why my self-sabotage types the perfectionist, critic and people-pleaser got triggered BIG times upon reading this message.
My initial reaction was just “WTF?!?!" - I got ANGRY! (Which btw is well-aligned with my non-self theme in human design, which is anger!) So I instantly knew, I got to work through this if I don’t want to end up pissed off for the rest of my day, potentially sucking my boyfriend into this misery too.
Thanks to my consistent practice of working and healing through triggers and limiting beliefs, I have found the one process that without fail will get me out the other side feeling not only better, but also CAPABLE. So often, we let these triggers lead us into self-doubt, ending up second-guessing everything we do, and feeling like the last piece of sh!t on earth.
Here’s exactly what I did, so I felt proud of how I navigated the situation, expressed boundaries to protect myself, and most importantly stayed true to myself!
Acknowledge how you feel and name it. Is it frustration, sadness, anger, or disappointment? allow yourself to feel the emotion rather than just swallowing it.
Regulate your nervous system. If you feel very strong emotions one of the best ways to release all this pent up energy is through movement. Whether that’s a training sesh at the gym, shaking your body, or a walk outside. Move to release.
Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. This includes forgiving yourself AND the other person if there was someone else involved. Reminder: this doesn’t mean they were right, it just means you’re detached from the control.
Express gratitude to start shifting out of the negative space and focus back on the positives in your life. Maybe the sun is shining today, you got treated to a cup of coffee, maybe someone held the door open, or you got a payment notification on your phone for someone purchasing your digital product.
Reframe what you KNOW to be true about yourself. You are a worthy, loveable, and important human being. You deserve to be treated with respect and you are more than good enough exactly as you are! (Tip; Ask how you would treat yourself in this situation as your best self OR how you want to remember this moment 10 years from now - putting it into different perspectives will change the way you look at things)
If needed and another person is involved, respond in a neutral way to the trigger. Stand you ground, speak with clarity and less with emotion. If they understand great, if not, that’s ok too. This is not a step for them to make sure they get it, but rather for you to speak your truth and be able to express your side of things rather than just swallowing the bullshit they serve you.
I also want you to know that, despite all the healing you do, triggers do happen, and they are so normal. The key is to not let them take over control so they don’t ruin your day. How you manage yourself, is how you manage your triggers. How you manage your triggers is how you grow resilience, confidence, and self-trust :)
Want to get to know yourself better so you can manage yourself better? In my Coaching Booster we will take a deep dive into your self-sabotage type and tackle it’s root cause, so you can navigate situation like this with ease!
