When drinking the positivity-poison
Toxic positivity is a phenomenon that has gained increasing attention in recent years. It refers to the excessive focus on positive thinking and emotions, to the extent that any negative emotions or experiences are dismissed or ignored. The goal of toxic positivity is to maintain a positive attitude at all costs, even if it means denying or suppressing one's true feelings. Sometimes it is also called “fake positivity”.
While positivity and optimism are generally seen as desirable traits, toxic positivity takes it to an extreme that can be harmful. When someone is told to "just think positive" or "look on the bright side" in response to a difficult situation or negative emotion, it can feel dismissive and invalidating. It can make the person feel as though their emotions are not important or worthy of acknowledgement, which can have a negative impact on their mental health.
Toxic positivity can also create a culture of pressure and shame. When someone is expected to be positive all the time, they may feel ashamed or inadequate when they are not. This can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk and self-judgment, which can further exacerbate negative emotions.
In addition, toxic positivity can be particularly harmful in situations where someone is experiencing trauma or grief. When someone is going through a difficult time, they need support and understanding, not pressure to "stay positive" or "look on the bright side." Dismissing their pain or telling them to simply "move on" can be incredibly hurtful and insensitive.
It's important to note that toxic positivity is not the same as genuine optimism or positivity. Positive thinking can be a valuable tool in coping with difficult situations, but it should not come at the cost of suppressing or dismissing one's true emotions.
So how can we avoid toxic positivity? The first step is to acknowledge and validate our own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or anxious at times, and it's important to allow ourselves and others to feel those emotions without judgment or shame.
We can also work to reframe our thinking around negative emotions. Rather than seeing them as inherently "bad" or something to be avoided, we can view them as a natural part of the human experience. Negative emotions can provide valuable information about our needs and desires, and they can be a catalyst for growth and change.
Finally, we can work to create a culture of authenticity and vulnerability. By being honest about our own struggles and emotions, we can create a space where others feel comfortable doing the same. This can help to break down the pressure to be positive all the time and allow for a more genuine and supportive community.
Do you catch yourself either being too negative or “fake positive”? Again, the first step is to be aware that we may fall into one or both of these traps from time to time, and that this is totally normal. However, if you wish to break the cycle and learn to harness the powers of true positivity, my 1:1 coaching intensive might be for you!
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NamaStay POSITIVE (the non-toxic way)
Josi
