Leaders don’t only come in bosses
What is even more fascinating is that not all bosses are true leaders. Many are stuck in the “this is how things always have been done” mentality, and don’t keep their promises to themselves, or show their real authentic self. Many don’t even know that these are essential leadership qualities! And more importantly, these things don’t only apply to leaders, but everyone! Whether you are a manager, biz owner, employee, or side hustler - getting these skills down is crucial on your roadway to success and makes you a true leader of your life!
These 3 key leadership skills (or any leadership skills really_) are life skills, so let’s nail them ok? Ok!
1 - The issue with the “this is how things always have been done” mentality:
Thinking this way immediately rings two red bells, giving up and contentment with the norm. Giving up refers to the lost will to challenge the status quo and continuously strive for change or improving processes, maybe there once was a fire within you to whip things up but thanks to consistent blocking from the above, or maybe because you were telling yourself the position held “ain’t important enough to make a difference” the fire was quick to be extinguished. My coach-sensors are going off big times right now and know this is pure self-sabotaging in the form of playing the victim, making yourself powerless, and making it a truth for yourself that nothing can be done (even though deep down you just know this process is shit and long-overdue a change, there I put it out there for you, it has been said!).
Contentment with the norm is like settling for okay, even if things could be fabulous. In other words, it’s not speaking up at Starbucks because your coffee is too milky and sipping on it with zero excitement because it’s not how you wanted to start your day. Or it could be because you are too comfortable not having to put in some extra work for this project because there is already so much other stuff on your plate, even if a successful project would mean less work overall. I have seen it happening, multiple times myself.
What you can do:
Don’t settle, push for what you believe in. If you keep talking against a wall, and you find yourself feeling like you are not adding the value you want to or that your potential isn’t fully put to use, ask yourself how else (or where else) you can do so instead. Unused potential and misalignment with values create resentment and are far away from fulfillment and happiness in your career.
2 - The issue with not keeping your own promises:
Simple: people watch. Let’s turn the perspective around for a sec, one of your managers shares during the weekly virtual catch-up that one of their personal goals is to run a marathon and that they train every day for it. On office days he would run to the office to get it done or he would train during lunchtime. You can see he is committed. Then one day he proudly shares with the group that he just ran his first marathon and he also shares about what this has taught him and encourages all team members to keep on making their health a priority too.
Now let’s look at leader numero 2, he has a New Year’s resolution that he wants to write a book about leadership. At first, he is super enthusiastic and writes every other day. Sometimes he shares the writing with the team, but with time it quietens down. Months later a colleague who remembered asked him how it was going and found out that the leader stopped the writing. It was too much work, and he couldn’t stick to the habit. In addition after a while he didn’t like the idea of his book anymore in general, so dropped the project completely.
Questions to you:
Which leader, do you find more inspiring?
Which leader would you follow on the next quest?
Which leader do YOU aspire to be?
What you can do:
If you set out to do something, show commitment, walk the talk and lead by example. People are watching and they see you pulling through as well as committing, but I assure you they will be drawn to the former.
3 - The issue with not showing your true authentic self:
Oooh, this one is juicy! I can hear the shouts “But you got to separate personal and work stuff”, “Some things or types of behaviours just don’t belong at the workplace”, and “Oversharing can be detrimental, they might fire me”. What I hear in all of this is fear of judgement, fear of rejection, fear of not belonging. And what it does is, it creates picture-book leaders, or in other words same-same-but-same (not different) leaders. If you want to be an inspirational leader, be unique, the is no one way to leadership, there’s only your way and that requires authenticity. And I’m happy to inform you that authenticity requires acknowledging that you are the same person at work and at home. Your being doesn’t change, it’s a mask you have put on until now, and people can smell it. Of course, it is totally up to you WHAT you share at work, but you can do so by still being authentic and not having to put on a completely different persona.
One major advantage of this is the genuine connections you can build and people will remember you for who you truly are. So next time at lunch, share your love for donuts and recommend your fave donut shop in London. People will go there, most likely love the recommendation, and trust you even more when you recommend something next time.
What you can do:
Share something about yourself you felt inadequate to share before now and see who your true self really resonates with.
To round this up, can you already see where these skills will be highly beneficial to you in day-to-day life? I invite you to do your own application and play around with the practice of them, at work, at home, or better: in life.
And soon enough you will lead life authentically.
With love,
Josi
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