Your long-ass To-Do list might be a behavioural problem - not a workload problem.
'It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.' *Brené Brown
We live in a world that glorifies hustle, packed calendars are worn like gold medals, and being busy for some reason shows off how important you are. If you’re someone who constantly feels the need to do more because of all this, but long to escape this franticness so you can actually enjoy your life already before you retire, then keep on reading…
Whilst there are some external factors that come into play in all this, we took those habits and behaviours on as our own. And that’s what’s in our control and we can change. So you might have guessed that today, we’re going to explore how and why we self-sabotage by overdoing it and of course go into some specific strategies that you can try to overcome it.
If we had to define it, the Overdoer is someone who is always on the move, always taking on more tasks, and feels a constant need to be productive. It’s the person who never stops, who can’t take a break without feeling guilty, and who gets stuck in the mindset that doing more is always better.
Some common signs and symptoms might be things like:
1. Taking on too many tasks: You’re the one who always says yes, even when your plate is already overflowing. You might feel like no one else can do it as well as you, or that things will fall apart if you don’t handle them personally. Your to-do list is literally never-ending and somehow is longer at the end of the day than it was in the beginning.
2. Neglecting boundaries and self-care: You push yourself to the limit and often ignore your own well-being. As a result, you might experience burnout, physical exhaustion, or emotional fatigue. Breaks and rest are rare occasions, and the experience of boredom is not even in your vocabulary anymore.
3. Feeling guilty about rest: Even when you’re on vacation or supposed to be relaxing, you can’t fully disconnect. You find yourself checking emails, thinking about the next task, or feeling anxious about not being productive. Rest feels like laziness to you, and that guilt keeps you in a constant cycle of overdoing.
How did we get there? Well, for many, it’s rooted in a drive for success and validation. Society often glorifies busyness, and we’ve internalised this idea that productivity equals worth. If you’re busy, you’re important, and if you’re important, you’re successful.
But overdoing also stems from fear. Fear of failure, fear of being seen as lazy and therefore not a worthy part of human society, or even fear of not being good enough. If you’re always doing more, you don’t have to face the discomfort of slowing down and potentially feeling like you’re not contributing enough. For Overdoers, rest feels dangerous—it feels like letting go of control.
This can affect all of us, whether you’re running your own business or have a corporate job or take on the mountain of responsibilities of being a stay-home parent. First off, burnout is a real issue. When you’re constantly pushing yourself without allowing time for rest, your body and mind will eventually shut down. You might start feeling emotionally detached from your work, or even resentful of the tasks you’ve taken on because they never seem to end. I’ve shared my story of burnout multiple times on this podcast, because I was a huge overdoer who thought she could handle it all until she just couldn’t anymore and burnt out in her corporate job. I will link some of the other episodes that are related to this topic overall in the description box below.
But also in business, being an Overdoer can actually be counterproductive. You think you’re getting more done, but in reality, you’re spreading yourself so thin that the quality of your work starts to suffer. You might also be avoiding the bigger, more important tasks because you’re too busy with smaller, less impactful ones that make you *feel* productive but aren’t really moving the needle.
Let me give you an example. Imagine you’re on holiday—a rare time for you to relax. But instead of enjoying the pool or the beach, you’re checking emails, playing through your next client call in your mind, or secretly handling 'just a few quick tasks.' You come back from vacation not feeling rested at all, and the work you were supposed to recharge for is still waiting for you. You’re stuck in a cycle of exhaustion, and despite all the extra work you’ve put in, nothing really changes.
Another tell-tale sign that you are overdue some proper rest is when you get sick immediately as soon as you finally take some time off. Your body is constantly in overdrive, working hard and using all the stress-related adrenaline to get through day after day. Then when things calm down, your body just crashes. If you experience this regularly, it’s time to change up your daily routines and habits so you get to stop living for weekends and 2 weeks of annual vacation only.
How do we break out though?
1. Learn to say ‘No’:
One of the most powerful tools for an Overdoer is learning to set boundaries. It’s okay to say no to tasks that don’t align with your priorities, or that will push you into burnout territory. Remember, your value doesn’t come from how much you do, but from the impact of what you do.
2. Schedule Rest:
Just like you schedule meetings and deadlines, schedule downtime. And protect it! Whether it’s a 15-minute break during the day, a full weekend off, or a vacation, plan it into your calendar and stick to it. I would even dare to schedule regular downtime FIRST before additional work related timeblocks and meetings.
3. Delegate:
If you feel like no one can do things as well as you, it’s time to let go of that belief. Trust your team, your colleagues, or even outsource tasks that don’t require your personal touch. Delegation is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of leadership. A step further from this would be to figure out what can be completely taken off your to-do list or out of your calendar. Challenge whether certain meetings really require your participation because you can deliver a valuable contribution, if this is not the case, your time might be better spent on other tasks (or a break so you can recharge).
4. Redefine Productivity:
Productivity isn’t about how much you do; it’s about the results you create. Focus on the few high-impact activities that really drive your business forward. Doing less can actually help you achieve more. Quality work of quantity.
5. Shift Your Mindset on Rest:
This is the biggest one—recognize that rest is not laziness. Rest is essential for your creativity, focus, and longevity. It allows you to come back to your work with renewed energy, which makes you more effective in the long run. To figure out what you need to shift simply ask yourself how you think about resting right now, what thoughts and feelings come up when you do it. Those are what we need to shift.
If you want to try out one thing only to start with, how about this: Block out one full day this week where you don’t work at all. That means no emails, no calls, and no sneaky tasks. Use this time to rest, recharge, and remind yourself that your worth isn’t tied to constant busyness. You’ll be surprised by how much more energy and clarity you have when you step back from the hustle, even for a day.
If you cannot find a way out of overdoing and feel like you’re constantly giving from an empty cup, we need to go deeper into the issue to prevent burnout or chronic stress. There is a way out, and we can find it together.
