Stop doing these things to live a better life
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One thing I noticed when working with clients, is that it’s always easier to ADD things to do to your life, rather than deleting shit.
With that I mean unlearning old behaviour patterns, no longer tolerating toxic behaviours from others, releasing old belief system and conditioning that holds us back as we grow older.
Over the course of the last decade I step by step stopped doing several things in my life, that ultimately let to me not only being happier, but also able to unlock my potential, communicate better, show up as an authentic leader in the space, doing the scary shit, letting go of people who weren’t good for me and more. I shared a reel about this on Instagram the other day, but felt the need to go into more detail, as all of these tips truly are life changing.
So in today’s post I will be diving into exactly what I stopped doing, and give you some tips on how you can start practising them yourself so you can live a better life too.
Starting with number 1: Ignoring my intuition
Intuition is your gut instinct or you might also feel it in your chest area like me. For me it feels either like a forward pull when thinking about doing something or it’s like a small alarm bell going off, when my intuition senses bullshit.
For example, if you ever had a suspicious feeling about someone, and it turned out you were right - that’s your intuition. It’s kind of like an energy reader that helps you navigate in your surroundings and note red and green flags.
I’ve alway had a good people sensor and could smell bad eggs from a mile away, however I ignored it when it came to things like trusting my calling to start a blog, or speaking up about something in a meeting only to then witness a colleague sharing exactly what I was thinking or ignoring all the alarm clocks ringing like crazy when I decided to give my past relationship another go before I finally called it quits.
So, when I finally listened to it, and embraced making decisions based on my intuition only, my life truly changed. It helped me to leave corporate, my past relationship, go on tinder to find my absolute dream man, sign up with my business mentor for a mastermind, go to networking events, text my friend at the exact perfect time and so on. It was like I activated a compass that helped me navigate my life towards better or to prevent me from having bad experiences too.
If you’re wondering how you can use your intuition, here’s my top tip: if you think about something that scares you, maybe a conversation with your manager or whether to invest in the new system for your business, get still for a moment and feel inwards either your chest or tummy. Does it feel crazy restrictive when you think about it? That;s a harsh No. Or do you feel a slight forward pull or gentle push towards it, like a nudge that says, just try it. That’s a yes.
Try it out and let me know how it goes.
The second and third thing I stopped doing is giving too many fucks about what other people think and stop letting toxic people pollute my vibe.
People love to give advice, and whilst I know it’s never meant with any harm in mind, sometimes their advice or opinion can be detrimental to your dreams.
For example, if it wouldn’t have been for the judgement of others I would have gone vegan a lot sooner. Or if I would have listened to some family members opinions I would have never moved abroad or started my coaching career.
If you know you are meant to do something, if your intuition is screaming at you and you just know in your bones it’s the right thing to do, you got do ditch other peoples opinion and free yourself to follow the path of life you’re meant to be on.
So next time you set out to do something, either just to it without others knowing or despite what others say. You know what is best for you.
Likewise, a common side effect that you will experience on the journey of personal growth is that you outgrow others, especially people who haven’t been the best to be around. You might notice they are too judgemental, your values don’t align or your life goals carry you into completely different directions.
I’d consider myself a rather loyal person, my bullshit threshold and toxic tolerance are quite high, but when the limit is reached, I have zero problem cutting people out of my life.This might sound harsh to some, but reducing that limit to protect myself on wasting time, has been a gamechanger for me. Not only are the relationships I do have on a completely different level, meaning they are based on unconditional love, they are also the most supportive they have ever been. There is no competing, comparing, jealousy, backstabbing, judgement or anything of that sort. It’s just deep understanding and trust.
You might have heard already of the saying that you are a mix of the 5 people you spend most of your time with, so choose wisely who you let in on your circle and who’s on your side no matter what.
Which leads to the next thing, as soon as you know what you want, and you know why you want it, you got to take action towards it. So what I stopped doing when it came to for example starting this podcast is procrastinating. And I wanna go into the depth of why we procrastinate in another episode, but in short you can see it as a stress response that either has you in freeze and avoidance mode or flight mode where you do anything and everything else EXCEPT for the thing you actually wanna do.
So it’s important to first recognise when you are in the excuse-finder mode, and then to break out of it and get into action. I for example love using the 5-second rule by Mel Robbins, in which you count down from 5 and when you reach one you get up and just do the thing.
This also ties into the next point, suppressing emotions.
Learning to embrace emotions not only has helped me to be more in touch with myself but to also experience life on a deeper level. This was also one of the areas I worked with a former client of mine as she was struggling with noticing, voicing and embracing her emotions. Over the course of our time together, she learned to re-include them into her life, and she felt more in touch with life than ever before, truly experiencing the highs and lows and no longer suppressing and bottling everything up.
For so long we have been conditioned to not express our emotions that we simply forgot how to deal with them, heck most of the time we don’t even know how else to describe them instead of just good or bad. There is so much more to it and so my invitation for you is next time you feel sad, get curious about it, let it out and express it. Tipp: you can also google the wheel of emotions so you can properly name what you are experiencing. This will help improve your experience of life, big times.
And it’s got a lot to do with the next point on my list too, which is that I stopped blocking my feminine energy. I constantly observe how much in society we push ourselves to be in the masculine energy. To have all the structures and rules, work hard and push limits.
But life for me has truly changed when I started to allow myself to also receive. To be in the present moment, in the flow, to be playful, creative and joyful. That doesn’t mean I don;t do any work, heck no. But it means I balance out my feminine and masculine energy so they support another rather than overpower each other.
My top tip, to embrace more feminine energy is through practising self-care and self-love. To enjoy those quiet restorative moments to refuel your creativity and out-of-the box thinking. This has not only increased my energy levels, but also allowed me to go at things with more ease and enjoyment.
The last one, and this is a big one that is kind of underlying to all of the other ones: I stopped staying in the comfort zone, aka zone of self-limitation how a fellow coach lovingly taught me to call it.
Growth and change happens outside our comfort zone, same with confidence and resilience. Unlocking our full potential, becoming an inspiring leader, living our most fulfilling life is not where we feel only safe and comfy, ready to snuggle into bed and sleep our life away. No.
It happens when we embrace uncertainty and the unknown. The reason you feel safe in your comfort zone is because you know it so well. It’s predictable. But as Einstein said, if I remember correctly, you can’t expect different results from doing the same thing.
So my invitation for you in this episode is to embrace your discomfort zone.
If you want to be a confident leader, go out there and do something that freaks you out a little bit.
If you want to start a marathon, start running.
If you want to write a book, sit down and write.
Take the first step. You already have all that you need to succeed, you just got to choose it and then do it.
Ok, to sum it up, the 7 things to stop doing to live a happier and more fulfilling life are:
Let other people's opinion stop you
Ignoring your intuition
Procrastinating on what you want
Allowing toxic people in your space
Suppressing emotions
Staying in the zone of self-limitation
Blocking your feminine energy
Pick the one that has resonated the most with you, and practise it for the next week or longer and see how your life might change too. If you want any personal tips, feel free to comment below with your questions or send me a direct message on Instagram.
If Want to take it to the next level? Book a coaching booster session and together we tackle one of these shifts and set you up for more success and fulfilment in your life.
