Tough, calm and resilient with William B. Irvine
First up, what exactly is stoicism and why does it gain more and more popularity nowadays?
Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that has gained renewed interest in recent years due to its practical applications in modern life, including in leadership roles. At its core, stoicism is about cultivating inner resilience and equanimity in the face of adversity, and focusing on what is within our control, rather than getting bogged down by external factors. It offers a practical and powerful framework helping to make grounded decisions, maintain composure in stressful situations, focus on your own actions rather than trying to control others, inspire your team with a shared sense of purpose, and create positive, productive work (life) environment
"The Stoic Challenge" by William B. Irvine is a rather practical guide to applying the ancient philosophy of Stoicism to modern life. The book presents a series of exercises and techniques aimed at helping readers develop greater resilience, equanimity, and purpose, drawing on the wisdom of Stoic thinkers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. Or in short, it is a roadmap for living a more resilient and fulfilling life.
Here are some of my favourite learnings from his book:
Gamify dealing with hardships
I often feel like I sound like a broken record when I talk about the importance of our attitude in life. We DO choose how we experience this time on this planet, so when Irvine was describing how he would go about a setback or hardship in life based on the principles of stoicism, I felt rather validated by those ancient philosophers. The idea is simple, next time you face a setback, make it a test of your resilience and resourcefulness and CHOOSE to go at it full power, like: “Oh you wanna test me, haha right come at me I am ready!!!”. Simply doing this alone may already change your attitude towards the hardship and you feel more resilient taking it on.
Complaining, anger and frustration don’t get you anywhere
Or even worse, you may “infect” someone else with your negative attitude. Yes, of course, you want to be understood, yes of course, you may have all the reasons to be angry, yes of course, you should not just swallow your emotions and hide them away until you explode. BUT after acknowledging the anger, does it really help you make progress or deal with the situation at hand better when staying in a negative space? No. Can you make clear-headed decisions that are aligned with your values, what you want to make real in this world, and what you want to be known for by others? No. Do you really want to carry your negative memories aaaaaaall the way up into old age to tell old friends or the next generations? No. Now that we got this out of the way, there are two action steps to try: don’t get angry or play with your way of anger management.
Resilience is an acquired ability and it is in your power to become more resilient
The best way is the experience of setbacks themselves, the more you have the more resilient you may become. this doesn’t mean to look for hardship in life in any way! However, you can take anything no matter how big or small to practice your pro-action and reaction to a possible scenario that other may be infuriated by. Being stuck in traffic, having the flu, having to wait in line, something breaking in the house,… and so on. Every time something like this happens you can consciously decide to first of all not play the role of the victim and to instead remain calm and clear-headed. This also leads to the next point:
The post-setback setback challenge
The event itself, let’s take being stuck in traffic, is the first setback. The second one comes with the emotional reaction to that setback. If you let yourself go down the rabbit hole of frustration and anger you experience a setback in terms of emotional and mental exhaustion as you lose control over the rush of negative emotions and let yourself be crushed by their weight. Please note I am exaggerating these reactions and examples, but it all comes down to the same principle. Allowing negative emotions to take over your life, in any strength or shape, or form, does not lead to feeling happy, ever. Luckily, there are some great ways to practice your reaction to the setback:
-anchoring (e.g. thinking how things could be worse and being grateful for it not being the case)
-color test: imagine everything you see is only black and white
-the frame game: a horrendous picture may turn out much nicer in a good frame (try out the humour, gratitude, or game frame, stoic test frame or invent your own one)
There are many ways that you can explore to come at a setback or difficulty or injustice with a calm focus to passionately bring about change. (Think of Ghandi or King for a moment, they were peaceful fighters for justice, and they did not get consumed by anger!)Try, fail, learn, try again
One way to get “better” at stoic challenges is to seek out setbacks or put oneself in situations where you are most likely to experience failure. According to Irvine this way you can step into a heroic role in life and transform your being as you come back stronger and more resilient from each challenge. In addition, you may gain a higher sense of satisfaction when “passing” the test and grow more confident in yourself. These situations may include learning new skills or starting a new sport. Something that you have never done before and you will experience the teaching nature of the beginner’s mind. To get the most out of it and to progress quickly, go by the concept of failing fast, learning, and trying again. The key here is to keep on trying and trying because it is only those who persevere through the discomfort of failing will reap true success. If you give into the little nagging voice that says “If you stop you will feel better” you have lost the stoic challenge and missed a chance in growing your self-trust (which by the way is a saboteur!).
Overall, I did enjoy the book as it is packed with practical ways how you can immediately start practicing your resilience and the concepts do strongly align with the framework I base almost all my work and thinking on: thoughts create reality. You choose whether a lay-off is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to you. You choose whether the car breaking down and therefore preventing you to go do a family dinner you didn’t want to go to in the first place. And you can train your mind AND body to be more resilient. If you want to know more about how to train the body, read my summary of the book “The Art of Resilience” by Ross Edgley (click).
What are you taking away from this book? What will you try or implement in your life to be calmer, more resilient, and (loving) tough?
NamaStay RESILIENT
JD
JD’s rating: 8/10
