You DO know

When working with clients one thing I often hear is: “I don’t know” after I asked a question like “what do you want?”, “what other options do you have?”, or “what is underneath that?”.

There are several reasons why their answer often is “I don’t know”, and I want to debunk some of them here.

Reason 1: They think they already thought of all possible solutions (very often this may be black and white only)
>> This is mainly due to trying to solve a problem from an analytical or logical point of view only, so if all “reasonable” solutions have been exhausted, there is nothing left. However, one simple method like looking at the problem from different perspectives almost always provides new input and allows my clients to continue their exploration for answers

Reason 2: They may be afraid to shed light on what the question may uncover
>> If we step into the realm of growth, we feel uncomfortable and may shy away from continuing the journey. It also is a sign that our saboteurs have been activated and they try to prevent us from going new paths as they prefer the known and comfortable easy way. What this first and foremost means is, that the client DOES know the answer, and it is close and within reach!

Reason 3: They DO know what to do (or who to be), but have withheld it from themselves and therefore may go on autopilot and revert to “I don’t know “instead, as there may be a resistance to speaking it into reality.
>> This is different from reason 2 because here we go more into the commitment state, or where we may uncover specific action steps that get us to grow, but we may feel scared to do so (reason 2 goes more into the fact of uncovering truths that live within us we think we don’t want to know).

As you can see from these examples, we always DO know, the answers are within us. All we got to do is truly listen and tune in and allow for the answer to surface.

Even if we may truly not know at the moment, the “correct” answer would always be: “I don’t know YET”.

Because eventually, you will figure it out, you will find your way to deal with it, your solution to a problem, your way of being, and more. And it is a coach’s job to help you uncover it without presenting the answer to you because what is true to them, may not be true to you.

In short: You DO know, you always have and always will.

Trust yourself, and listen to your answers!

NamaStay KNOWING

JD