What It Means When Those 3AM Thought-Spirals Become Your Norm
Overthinking is the art of creating problems that weren’t even there and the art of turning a fly into an elephant, only to have you wonder 5 years down the line what you were actually worried about if you even remember it at all. If you find yourself caught in endless loops of worry, rehashing past conversations, or getting stuck in analysis paralysis, then you’re probably overthinking.
In this series we have so far explored the perfectionist, excuse-finder, inner critic and people- pleaser and I wanted to point out that maybe you have found that you’re not just resonating with one of them but with several or even all of them. And that’s totally normal. We all in fact, have all these self-sabotaging tendencies. Some just might be stronger than others, or only come out in certain situations or around specific people. If you want to find out, your main one, I have a quiz here that will tell you exactly that.
But for now let’s get on with the overthinker type.
An overthinker is someone who tends to dwell on their thoughts, often replaying past events or worrying about future scenarios. This isn’t just about being thoughtful or reflective; it’s about getting stuck in your head, ruminating over every little detail to the point where it becomes paralysing. Overthinking can make even the smallest decisions feel overwhelming and create a sense of mental and emotional exhaustion.
For overthinkers, it’s like their brain has no ‘off’ switch. They constantly second-guess themselves, ruminate over things they said or did, and can’t help but imagine worst-case scenarios. This kind of mental overactivity can lead to heightened anxiety, stress, and a lack of presence in the moment.
Overthinking often stems from anxiety, fear, or a need for control. It can be a way to feel prepared or to try to prevent mistakes or negative outcomes. For example, if you grew up in an unpredictable or high-pressure environment, overthinking might have been your way of trying to anticipate and prepare for what could go wrong.
Ruminating, or continuously thinking about something distressing, can give us a false sense of control. We might think that by analysing every detail, we can somehow solve the problem or avoid future pain. But the truth is, ruminating rarely leads to solutions; it just keeps us stuck in a loop of negative thoughts.
And here’s the kicker: overthinking doesn’t just make us feel bad; it also robs us of our ability to take action. We get so caught up in thinking about what to do or how to do it perfectly that we end up doing nothing at all.
Some other common signs of overthinking behaviour patterns might be:
Laying Awake at Night, Replaying Events:
If you find yourself going over conversations or situations in your head when you’re supposed to be sleeping, wondering if you said or did the right thing, this is a sign of overthinking.
Or You Imagine Worst-Case Scenarios:
You tend to focus on what could go wrong rather than what could go right. For instance, before a big meeting or presentation, instead of feeling excited, you’re consumed with thoughts like, ‘What if I mess up? What if they don’t like my ideas?’
It can also be shown in Struggling Being Present:
Overthinkers often have a hard time staying in the moment because their minds are either stuck in the past or worrying about the future. You may find it hard to focus on what’s happening right now because your thoughts are racing.”
Now, there is another self-sabotage type called the Analyser. Whilst they have lots of similarities there are some very clear distinctions between overthinking and overanalysing.
Overthinking is more emotional and involves going over the same thoughts repeatedly, often tied to worry or anxiety. It’s that endless loop of ‘What if…’ scenarios or regretting something you said last week.
Overanalysing, on the other hand, is more about excessive detail orientation. It’s when you can’t decide because you’re weighing every single possible outcome or factor. For example, you might spend hours trying to choose the perfect font for your website, analysing every option to the point where you can’t make a decision at all.
Both can be paralysing, but while overthinking keeps you stuck in worry and self-doubt, overanalysing keeps you stuck in indecision and perfectionism.
When it comes to running a business it can show up in various ways, like constantly second-guessing your decisions, procrastinating because you’re trying to make everything perfect, or getting stuck in what I call ‘research mode’—where you spend so much time gathering information that you never actually implement anything.
For example, imagine you’ve received a critical comment on one of your Instagram posts questioning your expertise. Instead of shrugging it off or responding calmly, you can’t stop thinking about it for days. You keep replaying the comment in your head, wondering what you should have said differently. You ask your friends or mentor for advice, consider deleting the post, and eventually decide maybe you shouldn’t share opinionated content at all. That one comment, which is just one person’s opinion, has now derailed your entire content strategy.
This kind of overthinking not only drains your energy but also prevents you from taking bold, authentic action in your business. You become so worried about what could go wrong that you never take the steps needed to make things go right.
So, how do we break free from overthinking? Here are some strategies to help you get out of your head and into action:
Set Time Limits for Decisions:
Give yourself a specific amount of time to make decisions. For example, ‘I will decide on this by 5 PM today.’ Once the time is up, make your choice and move forward. This limits the amount of time you can spend ruminating.
Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques:
Mindfulness can help bring you back to the present moment. When you notice yourself spiralling into overthinking, take a few deep breaths, focus on what you can see, hear, and feel around you, and bring your awareness back to the here and now.
Challenge Your Thoughts:
Ask yourself, ‘Is this thought helpful? Is it even true?’ Often, overthinking is based on irrational fears or assumptions. Challenge these thoughts with logic and reality. What’s the worst that could happen? And if it did, how would you handle it?
Take Small, Imperfect Actions:
When you’re stuck in overthinking, the best way out is to take action, even if it’s small and imperfect. Make that phone call, send that email, post that content—just take one step forward. Action disrupts the cycle of overthinking.
Create a ‘Worry Time’:
Schedule a specific time of day to worry. If anxious thoughts pop up outside that time, tell yourself you’ll think about them during your ‘worry time.’ This helps limit how much mental energy you spend on overthinking.
Try one of these tactics first, don’t overload your system by trying all of them at once and also don’t forget that you don’t have to believe everything your mind tells you. Your thoughts are just thoughts—they don’t define you, and they don’t have to control you. You have the power to step out of your head and into your life.
If you struggle with noticing getting out of your own head and disrupting the overthinking-cycle, it might be time to get someone on board who can hold up the mirror and call you out in a gentle, non-judgemental way.
