To unfollow, unfriend and unfamily is okay!
“If a connection drains you instead of giving you energy, you should not hold onto it for the sake of it, let it go and set yourself free”
So this topic might cause a clash of opinions but it is something that actually was always natural to me because I always put myself first and if something does not serve me, no matter who or what it is, I let it go. I root for breaking chains that hold you back, I don’t want to have to adhere to traditions that are not good for me, and I don’t hold onto connections that are not supportive. However, I have to admit I also have lots of patience and a high value of loyalty, which sometimes meant I stayed longer in toxic relationships than necessary. Though in the end I always broke free, and every time I got stronger at seeing when my values got stepped on or when treated with disrespect.
I decide to focus my energy on people I love and who love me unconditionally. I focus on people I know will always be in my life, even if we don’t text each other daily. There is an unspoken understanding that we are and will always be there for each other when we need each other. That’s how it should be, no?
Very often and especially when it comes to family, people don’t make the cut, despite suffering under the connection and they keep it alive because they feel they have to, because blood is thicker than everything right?
No.
It does not matter.
What matters is how you want to spend your life, how important you see yourself in your life, and putting yourself first. Even if it is family it should not mean that you have to sacrifice yourself or your wellbeing because of their expectations. The only expectations you ever truly have to meet are your own. You don’t have to keep the connection despite being hurt all the time, you are allowed to leave behind what is not good for you. You don’t have to send a postcard because it is polite, send it if you want to make the receiver happy, but if that’s not the case treat yourself to a coffee instead.
Now you may say, this all sounds easier than it really is. But why is putting yourself first hard? It should not be. And you can be honest about it. Tell the person you want to “break up” with how you truly feel and that you want to draw a line here and there and you can go separate ways. In the end, it might even be good for the other party as they might have seen it as the same burden to keep something up that didn’t serve them. You are doing both of you a favor for saving energy and time and being able to invest that in something that and someone else who truly sparks joy in you. It is not selfish, it is not mean or anything else negative, it is completely ok. You don’t owe anyone anything except for you.
I mentioned it before, you only have this one life, and you are the sole decision maker of how it goes. NO ONE ELSE.
You have full ownership rights of how you spend the years given to you. In the end, you want to look back onto a life you wanted to live. Free from expectations of others, independent and happy. Harmony can still exist without that person in your life or that family member or the whole family. You have the right and power to choose who you want to spend your life with, who belongs to your tribe, and your chosen family or home. And it is ok. It is ok to decide FOR your own good.
Fill your life with people who treat you like a queen or king, who celebrate you for who you are including all your imperfections. Who you can count on and they can count on you. Surround yourself with others who want to see you change and grow and evolve with you. Have people in your life that inspire you to be a better human being, live to your full potential and you can learn from. A small circle with incredible people who provide all that for you is worth millions and millions more than a family member that is mistreating you, putting you down and making you feel small…
Life is grand, so decide to have grand people in it!
How do you feel about this topic? Have you ended connections because they didn’t serve your higher self anymore? Let me know :)
Also: You are amazing, you are powerful, you are magical!
NamaStay happy
JD
