My current take on self-love
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day and to send some love to those who need it, I wanted to write about my (current) take on self-love and the journey of self-love I have been on in the hope it may give spark something for anyone who ever reads this.
The topic of self-love was something I did not put much focus on for years and years. To be completely honest I think I only truly started thinking about the topic when I moved to Finland back in 2017 (that’s over 5 years ago at the point of writing). Moving there was like going on an adventure all by myself and my cat in a different country, and with that also going on an exploration of my “self”, learning to be with myself and my own company, and falling in love with my own company.
Up to that point, I slipped onto a path of what I would now consider self-destruction in different shapes or forms. As a teen I had no respect for my body, I didn’t care what I put into it, and punished it with the longing to be skinny or would even self-harm in the hope to feel something, getting attention, or both. I also would try and play the “games” of others to fit in or be loved, because I put way more value on receiving love from others than giving it to myself. But what these tactics have shown me, again and again, was not love, but pain and fear.
I had to learn that sometimes those we love the most will hurt us the most.
This left scars and a fear that is still within me (I mentioned in other articles before that this is a topic I discussed a lot with my coaches). Those scars made the journey to self-love even harder, but also even more necessary.
I learned this is not the right way, and I was longing to find a way to stop all this pain. And I got closer to one.
I found it when I truly started to look within. For example, when being with my own company for weeks, going on what I called “thinking walks”, to get clear on what I want, who I am, what I like, and where I want to be in life. The usual big questions. With this, I started to see my inner strengths more clearly and to also like who I am and what I have accomplished.
Later on, I expanded this concept and went on vacation just on my own to get clear on what I really needed and want and who I want to be. (Highly recommend!)
I recognised that all I ever need is already within, I have the power to make my life as I want it to be, to experience it from a perspective of love, fun, and lightness. There was already so much of it within me, I just channeled it the wrong way. And as soon as I channeled it my way, I opened a path of deep self-love. A new adventure that I am very much still embarking on.
Falling in love with oneself, to me now, is one of the most important things we need to manage in life. There only ever is one relationship that you have from the moment you are born until you take your last breath, and that is the one you have with yourself.
We can only love others, to the level we love ourselves.
We can only allow love into our lives, to the level we love ourselves.
Self-love is the foundation for more love to come, stay and go. The more profound we get it to be, the less anything else can disturb not only our love for who we are but also what we do.
It is standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, taking care of mind, soul, body, and spirit, being yourself unapologetically, knowing yourself better than anyone else, treating yourself as your most important human in life, learning from mistakes, following your dreams and passion and so much more.
In order to kickstart your self-love journey, here are 5 powerful journal prompts to help you reconnect with your truest most magical inner self. Take some time today, to answer these questions, and come back to either the exercise and/or the answers whenever needed. You will see that every time you repeat it you may be able to add more and more to this list.
Why? Because there is so much to love about you, the list is endless!
Give it a go, and see what comes up for you:
What parts of you may you not like as much, but deserve an equal amount of love as others?
What do you want your relationship with yourself to be like, and what can help you to get there?
What are you great at or what comes to you easily naturally?
What are the deepest values and morals you live by?
What makes you unique and different?
I would love to hear more about your journey to self-love, what does it mean to you and how do you practice it? You can write a comment below for all to see, or send me an email to start a conversation: coffeewithjd.business@gmail.com
NamaStay LOVING MYSELF
JD
