Not Being Authentic Can Cost You More Than $$$ In Your Bank Account!
If you’re a business owner, C-Suite member, people manager, aspiring leader or simply want to have an impact and add value in your space, being confident in yourself is essential for success. Your personal brand goes beyond mere marketing, it’s what makes you memorable and can be the maker or breaker for someone to work with you.
So let’s talk about some practical steps that you can take to stop dimming down your light, muting your voice, filtering your opinions or holding back your full potential.
Thanks to societal and often parental conditioning, we learned to “play it safe” in order to keep harmony, fit in, and avoid judgement or conflict. But the thing is, “playing it safe” may get you the normal tag, but normal never ever won a prize and the cost you pay cannot only be measured in pounds or US dollars.
I say only, because if you’re a business owner or CEO you might lose out on revenue and profit precisely because you engrained so deeply to conform and fit in rather than stand out and be yourself.
But you also pay with lack of fulfilment, impact, and of course happiness.
It’s like putting a stop on a waterfall so it only drips small drops every now and then to make sure you’re not too much, that you’re liked by everyone else, or that you don’t flood the whole area.
First up, even if you tone yourself down you will piss people off. That’s just a fact. Some people won’t ever like you and will always judge you, no matter if you do your thing, someone else’s thing, speak your truth or don’t speak at all. Forget those people for a moment ok?
Secondly, imagine the affect of diluting yourself actually has. Because you don’t flood the area, the environment can’t flourish, everything’s dull, bare and uniform. No other plants can grow, and nothing can really bloom in their full potential.
I’ve said this before but I will say it again:
You always, no matter what position you’re in, lead by example. You always influence others as to what is considered the norm. So if you play by the norm, despite feeling drained and depleted because of it, you showcase that that’s the way to go and people will follow. Going against the norm, taking a different route or approach ain’t crazy, but in fact trailblazing.
For example, imagine you’re a leader who wants to foster a better work culture, where people can thrive, work flexible times, are happy to do their job and efficient. However, you always do overtime, are the one to reply to emails on every weekend, and people always catch you having lunch at desk or during calls. What example do you think you’re setting?
You heard the saying: be the change you want to see in this world.
And the most effective way to do that is to unapologetically step into your authenticity.
Let’s explore some tips as to how you can do that:
Become more self-aware. Self-awareness is the first step to change, and in this example it is also the first step to becoming a better leader and influential powerhouse in this space. And I would love to invite you to grab a pen, and note down these following questions to journal or reflect upon, and see what comes up for you?
Where do you hold yourself back or don’t speak your truth out of any fears or limiting beliefs? What would you do and say, if these fears weren’t existent?
Who do you want to be, regardless of what others think of you?
In which areas of your life do you shame rather than pride yourself?
Open up and share more. That doesn’t need to be telling everyone your darkest secrets unless you want to do so because of the lessons in the story, but it can be as simple as changing your outfit to what you truly love wearing, sharing your opinion more openly even or especially if it’s contradicting what others say. It can start with turning off the blurr in your background in zoom meetings and letting people into your life or sharing it proudly. For example, one way for me on instagram was to change the covers of my reels to better represent my embodied authority rather than just a circle with text and blurry photo in the background. Share what matters to you and why, share your expertise, share your skills, share your passions and learn to do so with pride. And if you’re now thinking “I have nothing to share” or “there’s nothing I’m proud of” - I challenge you to write a list with at least 20 things you did that made you feel proud up until now OR things others have complimented you on. You can also ask some of your trusted friends to tell you what they celebrate about you and what skills they admire in you, and add that to your list.
Be present with your presence. With this I mean that your energy and your body language can tell a very precise story about you, without you even saying one word. Where there is misalignment in your words and how you’re showing up, you’re not representing yourself in an authentic way. So you might share some information with the energy of lack or from a place of fear, rather than abundance and conviction. Or you might be slouching and always holding your hand in front of your mouth if you feel insecure. People pick up on that. I’m sure you’ve experienced it before as well when you could just tell that someone is fake and tries to be overly nice or something they actually aren’t. It just comes across off. A tip I have received from my mentor and coach the other day was about visualising in bed before you go sleep how you want to show up as that authentic version of yourself. How do you show up in that webinar, how to you lead yourself in the podcast you got book for as a guest, how do you speak, what do you do, wear, say etc. Envision yourself being at your best as you navigate different scenarios. And of course when it comes to actually doing it in the moment, practice it. It’s ok to make mistakes and not do it perfectly as you envisioned, that’s not what matters. What does is that your intention behind it is authentic and true to you.
And here’s a bonus tip that I have been using for quite a while now, which is to have daily reminders of affirmations that keep on nudging you in the right direction. For example, I want to always have full ownership and responsibility over my own results, which is why I have the affirmation “I’m a player, not a spectator” on my wall, or I also scheduled hourly reminders with different affirmations that pop up on my phone and watch. Having these little nudges can help you to boost confidence and keep on showing up in alignment with your most authentic self, ultimately leading you to literally own who TF you are.
And I’m all for that.
So here’s a summary of what we discussed:
“Playing it safe” may get you the normal tag, but normal never ever won a prize. So to be truly authentic, unique or to stand out you can practice first and foremost self-awareness, get to know yourself better and learn how you hold yourself back, then take action to adjust that. The second tip I shared with you today was to share more of you, whether that’s your pretty face or your expertise, but most definitely it should be your embodied authority which leads to tip number 3: be present with your presence, adapt your way of moving and shift your energy so you come from a place “I know I’m THE shit” rather than thinking “I’m shit”.
I also want to say this at this point: You don’t have to figure all of this out on your own. What you learned in this article is a great starting point, but if you feel like you need more support to unlock your authentic leadership style, then reach out to me and we have a chat about working together. This is my jam, and why I do what I do, so slide into my dms and we get going.
